funny jokes part 1

1

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? 
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.



2

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."


3

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”



4
 Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.



5
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.


6
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs.




7
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick: "What school?"


8
"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In the stork?"