funny jokes part 4

1

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
 -
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.



2

Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.

Men 1952: I just fixed the roof.

Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.


3

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.


4

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.


5

The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.



6

A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.


7

A police officer stops a car.

Officer: “Your driver’s license please.”

Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.”

Officer: “At home?”

Driver: “No, to do it.”


8

Why is women’s soccer so rare?
-
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.


9

I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.