funny jokes part 9

1

My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.



2

Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.
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And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!


3

I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.


4

Daddy what is a transvestite?
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Ask Mommy, he knows.


5

Q: Is Google a he or a she?

A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.



6

Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.

I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”

He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”


7

What is see-through and smells of carrots?
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A rabbit fart.


8

An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.


9

Job interview in a psychiatry:

So you’re interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?
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I’ve been on Facebook for 5 years now.
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Very good, the job is yours.